You can find various couple and psychosexual handouts and worksheets here to enhance therapy or for your own use or interest.
Please remember that these resources are no substitute for a professional opinion or advice from a suitably qualified and experienced mental health professional. The resources and information supplied here are intended to support good practice, not to replace it. In no event will Bristol CBT be liable for any loss or damage arising out of, or in connection with, the use of this website or the resources hosted on it.
Unless otherwise stated, these resources are all © Andrew Grimmer
Handouts and worksheets: please click on the link to see/download the worksheet
Areas of similarity and difference: this worksheet is a way to think about the values, beliefs, personality, and preferences you and your partner share and where you differ.
Acceptance of self and partner: this worksheet helps to audit those aspects of oneself and one’s partner that we find hard to accept, are learning to accept, have come to accept, and finally, that we like or value.
Who does what: this worksheet is a way to think about the division of labour in your relationship, that is, the balance of activities and decisions for which each of you feels responsible.
Values list: this worksheet is a list of values that people might hold. It asks you to state which ones are most important to you so that you and your partner can get a better idea of what you find most important in life.
The Empowerment Dynamic versus The Drama Triangle: this is a diagram of the difference between Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle (persecutor-victim-rescuer) and David Emerald’s Empowerment Triangle (challenger-creator-coach).
Processing failed bids for connection: John Gottman describes the importance of turning towards one’s partner when they make a bid for connection. This worksheet is a way to process what has happened when a bid for connection wasn’t met with the response you wanted.
My areas of vulnerability: this worksheet is a dialogue wheel for each partner to take it in turns to describe an enduring area of vulnerability and how it developed. If you are taking turns to use this, the listener should complete every sentence stem in turn in one go while the listener allows the speaker the time and space to finish. If appropriate, swap over so that each of you has a go. This worksheet can raise strong feelings so please be gentle and go easy on yourself and each other – make sure you have enough time to do this sensitively.
Managing stress together: these are the instructions to complete an exercise where each of you takes it in turn to support the other and then gets feedback on which support was most valuable.
Managing difficult feelings: this worksheet is a way to think about how we respond to difficult feelings and why.
Love maps – getting to know each other: this worksheet is designed to help you get to know each other better.
I hope, I want, I need: this worksheet is a way to communicate your hopes, wants, and needs in the relationship and to link them to your values
Individual differences and couple similarities: this worksheet is a way to describe the ways couples have shared and different strengths and weaknesses.
Getting to know your partner as a sexual person: this worksheet helps you explore five areas of sexuality relating to emotions, sensations, actions, intimate settings, and fantasy.
Five gears of sexual and intimate behaviour: this worksheet shows Metz and McCarthy’s five “gears” of sexual behaviour from affectionate touch to more intimate activities.
Being effective: this worksheet, which is based on DBT’s interpersonal effectiveness module, is a way to help you balance asking for what you want (and refusing or declining what you don’t want) with how you would like others to feel about the way you behaved and how you would like to feel about your behaviour.
Being the best partner I can be: this worksheet is designed to help us be accountable for the ways we behave that aren’t ideal or could be unpleasant for others, and how to do something about them.
Caring gestures: instructions: this worksheet describes Jacobson and Christensen’s strategy for planning, implementing, and evaluating caring gestures that can help make our partner feel cared about or loved.
Caring behaviours log: this worksheet will help you keep track of your caring behaviours through the week.
A problem-solving worksheet for couples: this worksheet is a way to solve specific problems in your relationship using a stepped and structured approach.
Speaker and listener skills: this worksheet describes the essential communication skills to use when carrying out a speaking and listening exercise, which is a common home practice task set in couple therapy to improve communication and reduce the chance of conflict escalating when you try to discuss a sensitive subject.
Theory A and Theory B for couples: this invites you to think about the usefulness of thinking that the problem is mainly your partner’s fault (Theory A), as opposed to a joint problem (Theory B).
Self-care log: to be at our best in a relationship we need to look after ourselves too. This worksheet will help you keep track of the self-care activities that you have each committed to.
Negative behaviours log: this worksheet will help you track the behaviours you have committed to change because they are not good for you or your partner finds them unpleasant.
Companionship activities log: this worksheet will help you keep track of the companionship activities that you and your partner have committed to for the sake of a closer, more satisfying relationship.
Appreciation log: this worksheet will help you keep track of the times when you express fondness, appreciation, or gratitude to your partner for the things they do that bring value to your life together.
Couple therapy reflections worksheet: this worksheet is designed to help you reflect on what you are getting out of couple therapy.
A relationship blueprint for change for couples: this worksheet is designed to measure progress in couple therapy either at a planned review or at the end of treatment.